Where are those Endorphins?

Training has been difficult lately. I've lost all the motivation for it and the result hasn't been good. I thought that training was supposed to feel good, give you some well earned endorphins. But no, here I am just feeling depressed getting on this treadmill. I hope this is just some temporary mood-dip.

Okay five minutes up, time to start running.

Post Scriptum
This post failed to upload but I did not fail today in doing a little run (10min run, 3min walk, 10min run). And I felt mentally a lot better during today's run. Perhaps it isn't the exercise that has made me miserable, but the darn TV programs that's always on during my lunch-run. Emmerdale (hem till gården) and Absolutely Fabulous (helt hysteriskt). Why can't daytime TV show something decent?

Happy Easter little bunnies <3

Where are those Endorphins?

Training has been difficult lately. I've lost all the motivation for it and the result hasn't been good. I thought that training was supposed to feel good, give you some well earned endorphins. But no, here I am just feeling depressed getting on this treadmill. I hope this is just some temporary mood-dip.

Okay five minutes up, time to start running.

Do Not Panic

Oh dear me, it has been a morning for sure today. Went to bed at 11pm, went up at 3am. Milky had no clue why he had to get out of the bed as I quickly changed the sheets for my catsitter. Had to run to the tram, since i decided to paint my nails at last second. Almost forgot my sunglasses on the bus as they had fallen into the seat next to me. Bought a yoghurt and orange juice at the airport that i had to consume while queueing for the security check. It's interesting how empty the streets are at 5am, but the airport is cramped with people.
Made it through security and went to the bathroom where i multitasked on my phone. Exchanged some money and then went through passport control and to my gate. They opened my gate and i got into my bag to get my phone so i could send a quick text to Rhys. Got on the airplane. Except that their might have been 20 minutes of panic in between. You see, I didn't have the phone in my bag. It was lost. Remember how I told you about some multitasking in the bathroom... I put my phone down to wash my hands and told my self not to forget it...
So I ran back through the passport control (without showing my passport because they were only working on letting people in to the gates and not out. I probably crossed the Swedish border illegally) tran to the bathroom and try to find different stores in the closest area where someone could have left my phone. Nothing. Panic. Fighting lots of tears. Stress. Gave up, ran back to the passport control and to my gate. The line for my gate was still huge. Found a staff member there and asked if they perhaps could ask around on the walkie-talkies if someone had found my phone. A few minutes of silence. Then huge relief. A cleaning lady had my phone, or at least a phone. So I had to wait. And the boarding line is getting shorter. Panic again, what if she doesn't make it in time. The line is down to ten people. I see her. She passes me the phone and asks me to restart it, just so that I can put in code and all and prove it is my phone. It seems to take forever to restart the damn phone. But finally i get to put in my pin, thank the lady again and rush off to my gate. I was only second last to board. My window seat was sken, but I couldn't care less. I sat down and got to send that short text to Rhys telling him I was on the plane and on my way to him.

It's not even 9am now and I'm exhausted. Let's not have any more adventurous today. Let's just sit in the park and feed the squirrels.

Skeleton Tree

Last week I did something I didn't believe I could do. Running for 20 minutes with no breaks. But I did, mostly because there was a prize waiting for me if I made it through. A ticket to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. It worked very well as a motivation and now I can't wait for October, when I will have to wait outside the arena in Oslo for hours to get a good spot as I will be standing during the whole concert.

Last week i exercised 4 days in a row. When did I become this athletic?! Feels great though.

What to Knit?

After writing my update on my 30 before 30-list yesterday, I might have stayed up waaay too late looking for patterns that could suit my knitting-goal. So here are some options that I'm considering.

Maybe this yellow cardigan?

Or how about these adorable socks?

Or how about this summer cardigan? Though it is technically crocheted -.-

Or how about this retro sweater that could look totally cute with my high waisted skirts

I'm leaning towards the last one. The yellow cardigan though cute will probably not be used because I'll be too lazy to find buttons to sew on. And the making the socks feels like chickening out. And that summer-cardigan isn't knitted. So the last one it is ay?! It also happens to be that I have fitting mohair yarns laying around here... Isn't that a sign. Let's get knitted! 

Or wait, lets just check and see if I have the right needles... Yes but no. I need no.3 and no.6. I have very double-ended no.3, which will make it a tight fit for 77 stitches. But let's try, it's only for the elastic waistband, so I won't be stuck with the tiny needles for too long. Also.. i might make it smaller. The waistband on the sweater measure very huge on me. So let's make it smaller so that it get's the same fit as it has on the picture.Which means I have to recalculate the whole pattern, wish me luck!

30 Things Before 30

30 things to do before 30. I had a look at my old list, created in a time so vastly different that I can barely remember the thoughts of the person I was. And looking at it I've found a few things that for sure are going to change, because they are not relevant to me. Like one was to buy a car or an apartment. I don't see my life going in that direction right now, which is perfectly fine, and I also don't see it as some achievement. So I've tossed a few things around (but no-one but me would actually know since the original post is no longer available here ^^) So here we go. Updated list, lets do this.

1. Complete a triathlon race
Having my eyes set on a race later this summer here in Gothenburg. Will be so cool

2. Buy something fancy and let it coast a bit

It became a beautiful watch, which now needs a new bracelet because I didn't take care of the leather. Whoppsies. 

3. Roadtrip with friends

Thinking of going through Norway, because it is such a pretty landscape ande there's a few places I would like to see.

4. Diver's license

Saving for this one and hoping to do it this summer. With the pay rise I got it might be possible.

5. Kissing in the pouring rain
Vienna with my little nacho. It was wonderful and a lot of fun walking carelessly in the summer pour when everyone else was running for cover. Made me giggle

6. Finish a crocheted blanket

See what I did there... It's a modified goal. It was a specific blanket, that I hated and have now tossed out as it was getting full with moths. But I would like to complete a blanket one day. Perhaps a day before I turn 30.

7. Open a bottle of sparkling wine
Did that one on New Years Eve a few years back. Still a bit scary to open those bottles, but I've done it a few times now.
8. Work at a rice field

9. Make music video/short movie
And I have the idea all written down, gonna be a bit strange, but that's me. Waiting for my boyfriend to buy that new video-camera he's been raging about and perhaps he can be my cameraman.

10. Become better in Japanese
Went back to evening classes and it's been really fun, not up to the level I used to be. But I'm back on the basics.

11. Manicure, pedicure, massage

Done, done and done.

12. Drive dog sledge
Preferably during night under a Northern Light.

13. Have an exhibition/ art table

Yes, another modified one. Which just right now might have been booked as a friend asked me if I wanted to share table and a convent in the summer.

14. Sell an artwork
Hoping to get an Etsy up and running this year.

15. 5 songs on guitar
This will be a challenge for sure. It hurts so much and it sounds so bad before becoming good.

16. 5 songs on piano
Even though I don't own any kind of piano or keyboard (I own a guitarr, it is right by this desk) this is so much more realistic as I've actually try and learn a few songs whenever I'm up in Stockholm and have access to parents piano. These are the songs I've learnt/will learn

1. Yann Tiersen - Comptine d`un autre ete - l`apres-midi
2. Lisa Miskovsky - Lady Stardust

3. Ólafur Arnalds - This Place Is A Shelter

4. Tom Odell - Heal

5. not sure yet

17. Start permanent hair removal

I mean, who wants to shave all day long.

18. Cosplay

Went as Leia with her classic buns, white robe-dress and I even made her pistol.

19. Dive into water

This one will be tough. I tried to learn once, had someone teaching me and we took it in small steps. But I got panicked. Couldn't do the easy "just lean forwards until you fall" step. So my hopes are a little bit low one completing this one.

20. See Northern lights
I have seen them once before, but I want to do it again

21. See a sky filled with stars

Done this one before too, but I really want to redo it as it was one of the most extraordinary experiences in my life.

22. Quilted blanket

What is it with me and big textile projects? I saw someone doing a death star quilted blanket, I so want to do that too.

23. Go on a 4 week trip

Australia for almost 5 weeks

24. Walk on tight rope

Where do you go to learn this?

25. Travel outside Europe

Morocco and Australia

26. Knit a piece of clothing (other than hat or scarf)

This used to be about a specific sweater, but I think I just need to scratch that and restart.

27. Make a pretty decorated cake

Made an awesome death star cake for my boyfriend's birthday just a few days ago.

28. Surf

Done twice in Morocco. I want more though. I want to one day be able to surf through a wave tunnel. But that takes years of practice, so that's not going up on this list

29. Visit Iceland and do a riding tour -new
Upon googleing on this I also found that you can go snorkling in lakes by the volcanoes and it looked so cool. So going to do that to.

30. Learn how to break on a longboard - new

Last year I started longboarding a little. It was great fun, but I can't go too fast because I don't know how to break. Well, I do now how, but my brain can't get my body to do right. Maybe I need to train up my balance.

So that's it.

9 things done, 21 to go. But hopefully I'll be able to complete 11 by the end of this year. Wish me luck.

Introverted Swede

As I'm waiting for my tram a tourist approach me and asks for direction. I do of course help him and realise that he's to take the same tram as me. So guess who had to wait 5 minutes extra in ice cold Gothenburg. Yeah, that's me, bit wanting to risk ending up in a conversation as I just want to read my book.

Also, last time I had a conversation with a stranger, he ended up stalking me online which gave me panic attacks and constant fear when going to the bus after work. So I'm just a bit cautious.

Swim swim swim

Though I've mostly just been kicking around in the pool, my arms are very exhausted really that now as I'm heading home from my first crawl-lesson. It's been nice even though it felt a bit too crowded in the pool.
Today we mostly focused on how to properly kick with your legs in terms of physical movement and whereabouts to lay in relation to the surface. 70% underneath and 30% over. Your  heals should reach above the surface when kicking  in case anyone reading was wondering.
My body feels like spaghetti now and I hope to sleep like a baby once I'm home.

A look into my Bullet Journal

Recently discovered Bullet Journals and fell in love with the idea of a self made calendar/planner/collector-of-everything-you-need-book. Beside the weekly and monthly planners I've written down my resolution goals and in the end I have a collection of my various colours (copics, water colour, acrylic and so on. Thought it be handy when I'm in the store and looking for new colours.)

My big copic collection spread in the making. Gush, making over 300 boxes with colour-codes took looooong time. But I'm so happy that I have it now

My Sports Goals and suggestions on easy exercises that I can do at home. I have a spread looking just like this one but for my Creative goals as well.

Monthly index with a quick overview of the days, list on what needs to be done and bought. And this one has the big special Spring cleaning list that I have to complete before the 28th.

I try also to keep track on different activates in my daily life. Such as migraines, cleaning, creative work and such. i also have a little spending tracker to make me more aware of how I use my money. 

Bullet Journal is something I've really fallen for and I find that the tracking really help me see how I'm doing on a daily basis as I often don't remember at all. It will be really good for my migraines and RLS to see if I can find pattern for them and if there's something I can do to improve them.

February Goals

Phew, I've finally started to catch up to present time.

This month is the month I will get my training started. Thanks to my lovely Linnéa I've started training on lunchtime. Best thing ever! The gym is practically empty and I don't feel that I'm adding anything to the stress I already feel about getting everything done each evening after work. Mostly doing cardio now, but will start doing some muscle work when spring is hear and I\m back on the bike.

Spring cleaning is going to be a big thing this month, it\s about time to take down those Christmas decorations and cleaning the balcony for the spring sunshine and new plants.

Less Sugar is actually from last month, a month I had sugar every single day. I blame it solely on those TimTams that was brought back from Australia. Thought truth be told. I ate those 2 value packs in 10 days. Yeah... I can't really stop or ration out treats if I know that I have them in my home sadly. 

January Summary

The first month of 2017 flew by with long busy nights. I had a pretty wall calendar to make, with new bought water colours. I never understood how to use them, but now I finally understand and I love them. Have many painting ideas with this medium.

Besides painting every evening I also started a Bullet Journal, which took a lot of time since I had to plan how to do my planner with sketches and excel sheets. Yeah, I do easily get stuck in the whole planning phase.

I bought a new desk in January, one that will be placed in the kitchen and that will be solely dedicated to art and crafts. Sitting by my computer doesn't work since there's a keyboard, art supplies and a big Milky cat and the table just can't fit that. Also I want a place where I can easily access any art supply and that will be easy to clean every time I'm done, as that Milky cat doesn't understand where he's allowed and where he isn't.

2017 Resolution

Yes, it's February but I've had a very busy January, another post will spill the secrets.

My resolutions for this year are rather vague, but very important.

Be Creative

I dream very much about being able to start selling my art and I have so many ideas that I think I can execute and that people will be interested in. My big hope is to be able to open an Etsy store bye the end of the summer.

Be Healthy

My body is breaking down. I'm in constant pain which is mainly a result of a desk work, no exercise and a bad posture. And guess what, I'm going to live with this body for quite some time so it's about damn time that I start taking care of it.

I have a list with a few smaller goals that I want to achieve before the end of the year, such as running a few races. And all these goals have nice rewards, which I hope will help me keep the motivation and going through with this.

Bonus

There is also one hidden resolution. One new hairstyle every month. I mean, what is the point of long hair if I'm always tying it into a knot. Let's do something pretty with it, like learning how to make braids of different kind. Just a small and silly thing I'm tossing in there

There we go. I'm really looking forward to this year and I have high hopes on achieving the goals I've set.

December Goals - one month later

December is over, the whole 2016 is over in fact, so it's about time to see how I did with my goals.

1. Make and send Christmas card
Drew and sent way a handful of cards. Which I had started earlier though since it caused plenty of late nights to finish them all in time. And I found that glitter pens are really pretty, need more.

2. Complete the new year's resolution
I did go to one musical, one play and I saw a short Christmas carols concert. And with those three I actually think I made the resolution just in time.

3. Photoshoot
I knew this one was a far fetch and I sadly didn't get time to do it. But I will hopefully find the right time and light soon.

2016 in a list

We are once again at the end of a year and as usual I will summaries it with a little list.
Want to know how 2015 was? Check it out here

First
Seeing a Shakespeare play, Hamlet, at the Globe. I have seen one other play before, but in Swedish. So this was the first time that I got to see it in original language on original stage. It was a great experience.

Addiction 
I have strangely enough become rather addicted to a YouTube channel called Simply Naillogical, that features videos with nail art tutorial. I never do my nails but still find this channel rather amusing and I'm always looking forward to updates.

Food
TimTams
And I've succeded in becoming a regular at the Indian restaurant, so I no longer have to order, they know what I want now.

Tv-show
Call the Midwife
Westworld
And lots of rewatching my favourites

Movie
Suffragette
Nick Cave - one more time with feeling
Star Wars - Rouge One

Music
Aurora
Tom Odell
Adele
Nick Caves new album

Book
Been reading the same book almost for the whole year, since I'm a rather slow reader and since it is also a triology.
Haruki Murakami - 1Q84

Museum/Exhibition
The floating plastic sheet at Röda Sten Konsthall during their Surface exhibition, wished I could live underneath it.

Worst
The long distance from the one's I love, not only my boyfriend but also friends and family. Makes me want to move back to Stockholm from time to time.

Proudest
Finding my way back to art more. Started painting with acrylics, fallen in love with copic markers (a very expensive love), tried ink with a dip-pen and I've recently bought aquarelle colours that I've been adoring for the last few days. I hope I can continue this road back to art and I hope to start selling a little next year.

Cutest
Linnéa's rats, they are adorable.

Painful
Walking into the armrest at a theatre, gave me a big bruise and a bump that lasted for weeks. Not really that painful which means I haven't been surfing this year and also that I've been careful on my longboard ^^

December Goals

So this post is dragging a bit late, mostly because I don't know what kind of goals I'd like to set. With busy Christmas coming up I'm rather stumped on what goals I would be able to even fit in. But I think I have decided now, two easy and one hard.

1. Make and send Christmas card
Getting something in your mailbox that isn't bills is always lovely.

2. Complete the new year's resolution
In booked for two shows this weekend and I'm trying to decide on where to go for a Christmas concert. A lot of them are all booked so it is a bit difficult to find ones that aren't too expensive or too far away.

3. Photoshoot
Had some recent inspiration for a bit of a complex photoshoot. I'm hoping in good light next weekend (natural lighting just keeps on getting harder and harder as the days grow shorter and shorter.)